if no one notices you are not speaking.
I'm so alone and feel like there is no one to rely on. I can't find anyone that I can count on 100%.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The silent treatment doesn't work
if no one notices you are not speaking.
I'm so alone and feel like there is no one to rely on. I can't find anyone that I can count on 100%.
Friday, June 25, 2010
I'm starting this blog again
It's my online diary. A few days ago I was really bored, so I read my old live journal from when I was in middle school/high school. It was really interesting to see how nothing has really changed. All of my insecurities from before are the same as now. I actually got pretty sad reading about my past. I sound like such a sad kid.
today is August 25 and I am writing in the blog again. I'm leaving that post up from June and making a new post for today
today is August 25 and I am writing in the blog again. I'm leaving that post up from June and making a new post for today
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Blogger
So, hello. This is my first post.
I wanted to start a blog a while ago, but my friend suggested I create a "tumblr" instead. Because apparently writing a "blog" was an uncool thing to do... But my "tumblr" did not satisfy my need to blog. So, here I am, blogging away.
The name of my blog.
The name of my blog is "They Call Me Katie." I will agree that the origin of this title is not an original creation. However, at the moment, I am lacking any creative brain juice to make a catchy title. When I was 16 and looking to create a new screen name for AIM, I was inspired by the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "Light My Candle" from RENT ("they call me, they call me... Mimi"). And I can't deny the similarity to the sn of an old acquintance (theycallmero). The latter may be just coincidence, but I can't be certain. And although the screen name never really came to life in the Instant Messaging world, it had it's second chance in the tweeting world. tweet.
There are a few other interpretations that can be derived from this blog's name. One is my wishful thinking that people will refer to me only by my first name, "Katie." People have the tendency to tag my last name "Ho" along w/ my first name whenever I am addressed. I probably wouldn't be as bothered by this if my last name didn't have a derogatory connotation. But alas, every time someone says my "full name," I wonder if he/she is slightly slighting me in a cunning manner. (And yes I know... for some reason it's really fun to say "Katie Ho"!) Being tormented for my last name during my developing years (btw, did I mention that I learned what a prostitute was because of my name?), has left me resentful anytime I hear someone call me or refer to me as "Katie Ho." It's just a name for goodness sakes! And I do refer to some of my friends by their first-last combinations, but for me, I'd like to know that "they call me Katie." Just Katie.
Lastly, my cliche and overly dramatic purpose for this blog (<- that's my disclaimer) is to use it as a tool for self-creation and self-expression. Because really, we create ourselves by choosing which memories to imprint in our brains. How come millions of instances happen to us everyday, but only a few of them become significant? It's like there's been a photographer following me my whole life taking snapshots of my life whenever she pleases. And now I'm going to take control of the camera and take my own snapshots. I'm the creator of my life, and no matter what I am called by others, I know who I am. So what if "they call me Katie"? So what?
I wanted to start a blog a while ago, but my friend suggested I create a "tumblr" instead. Because apparently writing a "blog" was an uncool thing to do... But my "tumblr" did not satisfy my need to blog. So, here I am, blogging away.
The name of my blog.
The name of my blog is "They Call Me Katie." I will agree that the origin of this title is not an original creation. However, at the moment, I am lacking any creative brain juice to make a catchy title. When I was 16 and looking to create a new screen name for AIM, I was inspired by the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "Light My Candle" from RENT ("they call me, they call me... Mimi"). And I can't deny the similarity to the sn of an old acquintance (theycallmero). The latter may be just coincidence, but I can't be certain. And although the screen name never really came to life in the Instant Messaging world, it had it's second chance in the tweeting world. tweet.
There are a few other interpretations that can be derived from this blog's name. One is my wishful thinking that people will refer to me only by my first name, "Katie." People have the tendency to tag my last name "Ho" along w/ my first name whenever I am addressed. I probably wouldn't be as bothered by this if my last name didn't have a derogatory connotation. But alas, every time someone says my "full name," I wonder if he/she is slightly slighting me in a cunning manner. (And yes I know... for some reason it's really fun to say "Katie Ho"!) Being tormented for my last name during my developing years (btw, did I mention that I learned what a prostitute was because of my name?), has left me resentful anytime I hear someone call me or refer to me as "Katie Ho." It's just a name for goodness sakes! And I do refer to some of my friends by their first-last combinations, but for me, I'd like to know that "they call me Katie." Just Katie.
Lastly, my cliche and overly dramatic purpose for this blog (<- that's my disclaimer) is to use it as a tool for self-creation and self-expression. Because really, we create ourselves by choosing which memories to imprint in our brains. How come millions of instances happen to us everyday, but only a few of them become significant? It's like there's been a photographer following me my whole life taking snapshots of my life whenever she pleases. And now I'm going to take control of the camera and take my own snapshots. I'm the creator of my life, and no matter what I am called by others, I know who I am. So what if "they call me Katie"? So what?
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